The Albuquerque Tribune - July 2, 2004

Potluck power: Hispanic women gather for food, friendship and a firm
cultural connection

By Meghann O'Leary
Tribune Reporter

Martha Medina bustles through the front door
bearing wine, homemade bread and a warm smile.
She is greeted enthusiastically by a group of
Hispanic women gathered in a circle in Linda
Fuentes' living room, sampling chocolate chip
cookies, garden salad and enchiladas.
After the hellos and hugs are shared, the 15 or so
women ages 15 to 89 turn back to their circle and
to the reason they are there: friendship, comfort
and a chance to share their experiences as
Hispanic women.
Welcome to a Saturday afternoon with Las Comadres
Para Las Americas, an all-female, all-Hispanic
organization offering networking, support and a
sense of community to its members.
"We don't want to lose our culture," Nora de Hoyos
Comstock, co-founder of the Austin, Texas-based
organization, tells the group of women in Fuentes'
North Valley home. "It's part of who we are."
The women - all looking for a way to connect to
their culture - meet once a month for comadrazos,
informal potlucks hosted at a member's house.
"There are no dues, no committees, no officers,"
57-year-old de Hoyos Comstock says. "This is
strictly people getting together and making
friends."
So far, it has been a successful philosophy, with
the national membership at 3,500 - a huge jump
from the 120 original members in 2000.
Albuquerque's chapter - one of 23 in the country -
was formed in October 2003.
When she is finished illustrating the main points
of Las Comadres, de Hoyos Comstock looks about the
room of women and asks everyone to introduce
herself and share a tidbit about her life.
Medina, 41, a contract worker and single mother of
an 18- and 21-year-old, moved to Albuquerque eight
weeks ago from Lubbock, Texas. She immediately
sought out Las Comadres as a networking source.
"One thing about Comadres that is really neat is
the strength that women bring," Medina says.
"Women are the ones that bring families together
and work and have their own businesses."
She sees Las Comadres as a chance for women to
celebrate their contribution to society.
Isabelle Tellez, a 79-year-old retired
administrative assistant who worked at a law
office, now volunteers with the American GI Forum.
She grabs the opportunity to share her knowledge
of relevant Hispanic issues to the monthly
get-together, particularly veterans' benefits and
children's poverty.
"This is something that we as Latinos need to get
involved in," she says after the potluck - her
first. "A lot of those living in poverty are
Latinos. I don't think anybody in that group had
previously stopped to think about what extreme
poverty there is in this state."
Tellez might help provide awareness to the other
women, but she gains something as well.
"I saw some women there that I would never have
met otherwise," she says. "The meeting provided a
variety of thinking and personalities, which helps
us know ourselves."
Marcella Jaramillo, a 29-year-old engineer at
Arctic Scope Consulting Group, says she had
trouble meeting other women, much less Hispanic
women, in her field.
"For me, it's about friendship and a sense of
belonging," she says. "Women tend to not want to
help each other. They see each other as
competition. But that's not the case with this
organization. It's all about the good stuff in the
ways that women interact."
To aid this comfortable and positive interaction,
Las Comadres has no rules and clings to no single
ideology.
Raising her voice slightly above the chatter, de
Hoyos Comstock lets everyone know she has no
intention of politicizing the group.
"That will kill us," she says.
Not that politics can't be discussed. Tellez
freely expresses her opinion on the war in Iraq,
and de Hoyos Comstock assures that everyone's
views are not just tolerated but respected.
"This is a safe place, where all Latinas are
treated with respect and kindness," de Hoyos
Comstock says.
Whatever happens outside the gathering, de Hoyos
Comstock insists Las Comadres is a "chance to
enter a different space."
De Hoyos Comstock, who calls herself a "business
developer," co-founded Las Comadres with Veronica
Rivera and Elizabeth Baird in April 2000.
In addition to word-of-mouth, part of Las
Comadres' success, de Hoyos Comstock says, is the
introduction of e-groups - an Internet-based
communication system similar to chat rooms.
When Rivera and Baird - who are still members but
no longer organizers - invited de Hoyos Comstock
to join four years ago, it couldn't have come at a
better time. Her twin son and daughter, whom she
had dedicated her life to raising, were grown up
with lives of their own. A feeling of isolation
began to seep in.
"I was really very lonely, and I couldn't find
other Latinas," she says. "I couldn't connect with
anyone." She has since discovered her situation is not
unique. "This whole country, we're all isolated; we're all
feeling it," she says. "That closeness, support
and friendships we're looking for, we can't find
it."

Comadres literally means "intimate woman friend,
or pal," and de Hoyos Comstock says all friends,
Hispanic or not, are welcome members.
"Even though this is a Latina group, that doesn't
mean I don't include others," she says. "I send
e-mails to everyone that wants to be included."
De Hoyos Comstock hopes one day Las Comadres will
be able to network with similar organizations,
celebrating different cultures.
"I really see this as a model," she says, "If your
heritage is French or German, try to gather people
around you who have a similar yearning for their
past and build a group around it. Maybe someday,
we can share across groups."
But for now de Hoyos Comstock remains focused on
Hispanic women's place in the world, a position,
she thinks, has yet to be established.
"We don't have a history that tells us what our
ancestors have done to benefit our country," she
says. "It hasn't been taught in our schools. This
is a chance to pull together to learn about it, so
that we can build pride and confidence in the
Latina community."
Where others might perceive discrimination and
struggle, de Hoyos Comstock sees potential.
"Every place in this nation that has Latinas has
potential," she says. "Someday we will be able to
take our rightful place along with everyone else."
De Hoyos Comstock looks around the room one last
time before telling the women to sample some more
food and socialize with their comadres.
She pauses and says proudly,
"I see women that will one day lead this country."

***
WHAT HISPANIC WOMEN FACE
Las Comadres co-founder Nora de Hoyos Comstock
gives what she calls the top five challenges
Hispanic women face in the United States.
Jobs: There are fewer career opportunities.
Health: Lack of regular medical attention.
Wealth: Limited knowledge in investments and
making money through businesses.
Family: Society doesn't make family a priority.
Role models: There isn't enough support.

***
GO DO IT
The next Las Comadres potluck in Albuquerque is
scheduled for July 10. To find out more, e-mail
Jenn Sanchez at abqlascomadres@yahoo.com